IT WASN'T JUST A PET, IT WAS MORE THAN THAT.
Losing a pet can be immensely painful. Suddenly the house is quieter than it should be. You don't hear their paws, barks, meows or movements. You reach out for them behind you out of habit and they are not there. You come home to a house in time to feed them, oh wait, I forgot. Pets are such a big part of our daily routine, that when they are gone, we feel it in every moment of our routine where they would usually fill a slot.
The loss of a pet can be hard because they are our companions, our source of comfort after a long day, part of our daily routine, a witness to our different stages of live. They are a source of unconditional affection, a part of our family and for some, the reason to get out of bed in the moment and go outside for a walk.
The loss of a pet is sometimes misunderstood. Mostly because of the different ways that people regard their pets. To some, it really is just a dog or cat. From these individuals you might hear phrases like “it was only a cat / dog” or “You can get one at the SPCA”. They don't understand that it wasn't a ceramic ornament that fell of the table. It was a pet with a personality, moods, funny moments and a genuine attachment to your soul.
We have all heard of the 5 stages of grief, as if it's a list of boxes to be checked to get through it. In reality, griefs is much more flued and nuanced. It comes and goes like the weather. During the grieving process you might experience:
Sadness
Crying
Anger
Guilt
Loneliness
Anxiety
Numbness
Relief (particularly after a long illness)
Regret
Difficulty concentrating
Disrupted Sleep
Changes in Appetite
Longing
Moment of laughter followed by sadness
Feeling fine one day and devastated the next.
This is important: There is no single right way to grieve.
Being forced to euthanise a pet, can bring with it a whole extra load of feelings:
was it the right time? did I do enough? Did i give up too soon? Should I have waited? Were they suffering? Was I being selfish? Guilt is a very normal part of the process and just because it's there, doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Guilt only means that love existed.
What can help with grieving:
Allow yourself to grieve
Talk about them.
Create a ritual.
Maintain basic routines.
Be gentle with yourself.
Let memories be complicated.
You don't have to forget them, to move forward without them.