FAQ

What exactly is Counselling?

Counselling is a structured intentional relationship designed to help someone understand themselves, navigate difficulty, and create change. It works by creating an “ideal environment”. Carl Rodgers talked about three core conditions for change: Congruence (being real), unconditional positive regard (the client’s worth is not conditional on behaviour) and empathic understanding (focusing on really hearing and understanding the client). He believed that humans have a natural drive towards growth and healing, and that the right environment activates it. Much like all living things will try and heal when damaged.

So why can’t our friends and family simply create this kind of space for us? Firstly, because they haven’t been trained to do so. Holding therapeutic space requires emotional capacity and specific skills — things like emotional regulation, comfort with silence, the ability to sit with discomfort, awareness of transference and projection, and the ability to notice patterns without getting swept into them.

Secondly, they’re part of your system. They have their own hopes, fears, expectations, and emotional investments in your life. Your choices affect them, which makes it incredibly difficult for them to remain impartial, even with the best intentions.

It is for this exact reason that dual relationships are discouraged in counselling.

How long are the sessions?

I offer 60 min sessions.

What if I’m nervous or it feels awkward?

Feeling nervous is completely normal — and the occasional awkward moment is too. Most people haven’t done counselling before, and when we face something unfamiliar, our brains try to protect us by preparing for the worst. The brain's primary job is to keep us alive, so it often overreacts to everyday stress with a dramatic internal “RED ALERT!” at the first hint of discomfort.

The good news is that once your brain realises the situation is safe, it settles. It really does learn to relax - and it usually happens much sooner than you expect.

What if I’ve had a bad experience with counselling before?

Firstly, I’m really sorry that happened. Working with people’s pain is delicate work, which means it can feel especially hurtful when a therapist drops the ball. Therapists are trained to do no harm, and most take that responsibility very seriously. Ideally, the therapeutic relationship should feel safe enough for you to voice when something feels off or when you’ve been hurt.

And even with training and good intentions, therapists are still human. We all have our own personalities, blind spots, triggers, and sometimes we unintentionally say or do the wrong thing. What matters is how the therapist responds - whether they can genuinely apologise, repair the rupture, and rebuild trust.

Like any profession, there are practitioners who are skilled and attuned, and others who may not be the right fit. That’s why we fully support clients taking their time to see if we “click.” You’re welcome to try a few sessions, get a sense of the relationship, and choose someone else if it doesn’t feel right - no offence taken at all. 😊

How do I know if counselling is working?

Good questions. Working with a lifetime of habits, beliefs, hurt and adaptation can take time. However, after your very first session you should feel heard, understood and seen. With a bit of time counselling could bring with it, increased awareness, increased emotional tolerance, behavioural changes (even small ones), changes in self-talk, remembering what was said in therapy during the week and feeling different (even if you can’t exactly explain why). If any of this is happening for you, then it’s a safe bet that counselling is working.

Do you offer in-person or online sessions?

Yes. I offer both. My office is located in Somerfield and for online sessions I use zoom because of security reasons. If you are interested in online sessions, please have a look at the Counselling Online page, which explains how it works and what is needed for a secure and successful session.

Can I speak Afrikaans?

Ja, ek het grootgeword in Vaalwater, diep in die Waterberge, waar almal my nog as Leentjie Blignault ken (my nooiensvan). Afrikaans lê na aan my hart en bly my moedertaal. Ons kan dus gerus die berading in Afrikaans doen — solank U nie omgee as ek hier en daar ’n Engelse woord inwerk nie. Ek het my graad in Engels voltooi, so baie van die “official terminology” leef nog in my kop in Engels.